Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
In America we eat man semen.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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