If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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