You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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