Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
