OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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