no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
