And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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