I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
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I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
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Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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