he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You were trust falling into bushes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
