I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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