i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
