We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize