Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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