bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
