Don't make out with my wife yet
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
