guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize