We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
