btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
