I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I need a burrito and a hug.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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