If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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