He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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