Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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