At least make sure they are 18
Why
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
