she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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