When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
