so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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