Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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