It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize