the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Drake has all the answers
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
