Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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