did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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