Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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