I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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