Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
