Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
