yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
