as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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