I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
