playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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