You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
