Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
