remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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