best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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