Please, let me fuck your mom
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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