i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Everyone says I win the strip club
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize