Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize