I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will be naked everywhere
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
