and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
