Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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