he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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