I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
3 2 1 whiskey
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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