I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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