doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
