it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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