I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
