come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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