fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
