Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
