He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
high people should be assigned attendants
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
