People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Drunk is a universal language darling
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
