Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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