Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
