he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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