you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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