my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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