some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
